I am unashamedly a Taylor Swift fan. Her music will put a smile on my face despite the worst of days. Windows down, music up, young and free- i’m that Mom acting like I’m in high school all over again. Don’t judge, it’s a mini vacay from my diaper changing, house cleaning, problem solving duties.
I love her most recent album, especially the song Bad Blood.
“We used to have mad love, but now we have bad blood”
Definitely not a spiritual song, but definitely a spiritual truth; a reality many of us find ourselves in.
As women we dream of falling in love, getting married to the man of our dreams, living our own fairy tale, having kids, working in our dream career. Then reality hits and what we dreamed of being mad love, can easily turn into bad blood.
Unresolved issues, pile up, like a stack of unpaid bills.
Emotional tension from relationships begin to build in our soul whether it be from our family of origin, marriage or friendships. And these unresolved issues produce bad blood. And in the same way, bad blood when left undealt with becomes a destructive cycle in our lives. A way of thinking that justifies dysfunction and keeps us looking through a glass ceiling. Seeing the life we want, the relationships we long for, but somehow never being able to actually experience it to the fullest. Emotionally stunted we long for more, but do not know how to get there. These unresolved issues cripple us from being vulnerable, letting go of control, open, honest, straight forward and authentic. All the ingredients that cause relationships to be healthy.
Even Jesus understands relational pain (Isaiah 53.2-6). He had family that didn’t believe in him. People that walked out on him. Misunderstood by most. He dealt with betrayal, rejection and heartache. Some people could have even said Jesus had bad blood.
As pastors and leaders we continue helping others, when, at times, we need help ourselves. The demands of life, our battle with perfection and unresolved issues slow us down and overshadow our future. We do our best to pour our lives out, helping people through their own struggles, to give our husbands and kids our best, but we still find ourselves coming up empty. It’s like walking through life with crutches.
We hobble around longing to run, longing to be free, but we can only go where the crutches allow us to go- with limited speed and mobility.
Crutches are not meant to be a lifetime accessory. They are not a cute purse or your favorite necklace. They are a temporary solution to help strengthen the bigger problem. They help take the weight off so that the leg can heal.
I believe that it’s time to deal with the unresolved issues in our hearts, to drop the crutches and begin to have full range of emotional mobility. Too much is at stake for us to go around hobbling around in our relationships. It may require some healing time and a good dose of honesty, but on the other side is freedom like we have never experienced. And this freedom will bring a release of our callings.
Today, we can take heart because though Jesus has walked through relational struggles just like you and me. He didn’t allow them to define Him or stop Him from living out His purpose. He endured the pain… so that we could experience healing, restoration and fulfillment.
I don’t know the relational struggle you are walking through but I do know God has boundless wisdom and a grace filled solution tailor made for your heart and circumstances. All you have to do is ask for wisdom and its yours (James 1.5).
Here’s to a year of great freedom and fun in all of our relationships!!