Because I Said So
Tammie Floyd | Lifepoint Church | Fredericksburg, VA
It was a typical Monday, rushed and attempting to get out of the door for school in time, I found myself once again in my favorite “time out spot”. My snack filled pantry. I’d had another difficult morning with my oldest daughter attempting to argue her way out of first time obedience, a staple rule for our home. I have three amazing kiddos, and my world changing middle child and I don’t always see eye to eye.
In my moment of quick solitude, I asked God, “Why?! Why did You choose me to be her mommy?! I prayed for a baby girl, but are you sure you sent the right one? She can be difficult. She can be opinionated. She can be strong willed. She can be stubborn! I’m not equipped to deal with her drama!!” I should insert here that my beautiful girl is 8 years old. She started speaking at age 2, so we’re going on 6 years now of this dance.
In all honesty, this wasn’t the first time I’d questioned God about His divine plan in my parenting journey. But this time He quickly responded to my plea. As soon as I asked I heard the Holy Spirit immediately respond. The way He does when a heavenly thought runs through your earthly mind. His gentle response to me that day was this,
“Because I said so.”
My husband and I became church planters almost 13 years ago. It was a series of “only God” events that led us into this full time calling. We moved from a city of comfortability to a place full of unknowns. Left a group of friends we knew well, to a community of people already established in their own relationships. We were outsiders coming to a land of unfamiliar. I imagine some of you have been in this place too.
The first few years of our ministry were difficult. We hadn’t been introduced to ARC yet, and we started our church without a tribe of people to lean on or learn from. We asked a lot of questions, and reached out for help from others we followed in ministry that seemed similar to us. God’s grace was always sufficient, but I remember moments during that early season where I was definitely the planner of my own pity party.
Why would God call us to something we felt unequipped to accomplish? Why would He choose us to lead people over twice our age? Why would He deposit such big dreams in our hearts with no money to make it happen? Why wasn’t anyone coming? Why would He bring such growth with no more space or seats to fill? Why? Why? Why?
I can’t imagine all of the “why statements” Mary must have thought when the angel approached her announcing she would carry and give birth to Jesus. But her response, though simple, was profound. “I am the Lord’s servant. May it be….”
“I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May it be to me as you have said.” Then the angel left her. Luke 1:38
We didn’t pack up our lives and move to a new place because it was a fun idea. We did it because He said so. Not out of fear, but out of love for Him. We had individually surrendered our lives to Him many years prior to that moment, and on our wedding day committed to obey Him together no matter the request.
Sometimes the only answer to the why’s in our life is surrender.
One of the things that has been so helpful on this journey is taking the time to reflect on how God came through in those “because I said so” moments. Like an Ebenezer stone, remember how God showed up. Then testify about it! Tell somebody!
Here’s a few ideas:
-Write a post
-Share an instastory or use any other form of social media
-Text a friend and celebrate
-Tell your husband and kids
-Capture a moment, frame it, and put it somewhere you often find yourself
-Put together a coffee or dinner with other wives in ministry and share those moments together.
Like that Monday morning, I tend to find ME behaving like my 8 year old. Stubborn, difficult, opinionated, maybe even slightly dramatic at times in our ministry life. BUT reminding myself that decisions of surrender and obedience always lead to God’s best keeps me loving and feeling grateful for the assignment we’ve been given.