“…To have and to hold,
from this day forward,
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
until death do us part.”
If you are married, then you undeniably remember repeating those vows, or something similar in the presence of your pastor and loved ones on that special day. I vividly remember the teary-eyed commitment I made to my handsome groom at a tulip garden in little ol’ Philomath, Oregon, and here we are, almost 8 years and three children later! Thankfully, by the grace of God, we are more passionately in love today than the day we said those vows.
I’ll be honest, though. There aren’t many times that I sit and think about that covenant I made with him and those powerful words we spoke, but I did a few nights ago when we had a disagreement. He went to bed and I stayed up, still stewing in my frustration. Pride ensued and I thought, “I’m going to sleep on the couch.” I laid my head down, thinking my idea was a great one. Then I heard the Holy Spirit speak to me. It wasn’t audible, but my heart was filled with his gentle voice, “Melissa, go to bed with your husband.”
“Melissa, go to bed with your husband.”
I rejected my pride and climbed into bed. As I laid down, I felt a peace wash over me. Although nothing had changed in the natural between my husband and I, something changed in the spiritual. I did not allow the enemy to create division in my marriage. I reflected on the vows I took and how those vows are indicative of choosing unity with him, even when I don’t feel like it.
Although sleeping on the couch seemed like such a little thing, I realized it was a step towards distance and disunity, and it would be much easier to do again the next time we had an argument. Pretty soon, the distance of sleeping on the couch wouldn’t be enough distance, and perhaps I would want to go sleep at my relatives house? I could see clearly the deceptive traps of the enemy.
The devil divides, God unites. Mark 10:7-9 says, “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” In that natural, we look like two people, but in the spiritual we have been made one. We have been super-glued together by God.
If you have ever super-glued your fingers together, you know how painful it is to try and tear it apart. I’m thankful our marriage is under God’s blessing and covering, because He is truly the glue that holds our marriage together in unity and peace. Each year, when we celebrate the anniversary of that covenant we made, with Christ at the center, we will be able to have the same testimony: that we are more in love with each other than we were on the day we made those vows.
If you are a married woman, would you pray this prayer with me today?
Lord, I thank you that we love because you first loved us (1 John 4:19). I pray that you would help me as a wife to continue to remember the covenant I made with my husband. I pray that you would protect our marriage from the plans of the enemy to divide. Instead, fill us with the unity of your Spirit and a continual aim to lay down our lives for one another. In Jesus name, Amen.
Written by: Melissa Miller
Melissa Miller leads the Women’s ministry at Urban Church in San Diego, California. She also has a passion for parenting, writing, speaking and putting a stop to human trafficking.