Just Say No
June 25, 2014 Vicki Ohlerking

Just Say No

June 25 2014


by Coach Dianna Salciccioli

Do you have difficulty saying No? Are you always trying to be nice to others at the expense of yourself? You are not alone! Many of us are so afraid of disappointing others or making someone mad; we just say Yes not because we genuinely mean it, but because No seems wrong. 

There are so many reasons why we have a rough time saying No. Here are a few examples:

1. We want to be helpful.
2. We don’t want to be rude.
3. We want to be agreeable.
4. We are afraid of conflict.
5. We don’t want others to feel rejected by us.

Do any of these reasons ring true for you? They do for me. I hate thinking that my No would ever cause another person to feel I didn’t value the things that matter to them.

The real truth is that HOW you say No is where the real impact comes in. To have success in saying No to an opportunity or request made by someone else is challenging. Here are a few sentences to consider.

a. “Thank you for considering me, but I have other priorities at this time and cannot be involved.”

b. “So sorry, our team already has established the opportunities we will focus on this year.”
c. “I don’t believe I am the best person for this task. Please consider others that are better suited.”

e. “No! Thank you! 

f. "I decline the invite and wish you the best as you pursue your goals.”

By making clear statements about your ability to commit to a task or opportunity you are empowering others to find people better suited for the task.

Saying No takes courage and we often feel guilty and wonder what others will think of us! But No is a necessary response to maintain our own productivity and balance. 

A great article in Psychology Today says this so well: “No says, ‘This is who I am; this is what I value; this is what I will and will not do.’” We are all committed to loving, giving, cooperating, and assisting the success of others. But not at the expense of losing our own balance and productivity!
Consider your ongoing commitments today. Is there somewhere you need to say No? Are there great things waiting for you ahead, but you’re stuck doing good things simply because you fear saying No to them to make room for what’s GREAT? Ponder these thoughts and if a No is needed; please say it! You will discover greater freedom and help others to find the right people that are best matched for a task or opportunity.

See more from Greg and Dianna Salciccioli here.