I am a pastor’s wife like many of you but I’m also a woman in ministry. Have been for about 20 years.
That also means that I am the mother of pastor’s kids – the infamous PKs. Saying that almost makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit because of the negative connotations that are often associated with that term. You know the words: Poorly behaved, rambunctious, rebellious and dare I say it, promiscuous. Basically Eddie Haskell.
So maybe you’ll understand that my one goal as the mother of my sons is to see them follow Christ with their whole hearts when they leave our home as young adults and for the rest of their days.
I’m not interested in them scoring a perfect 36 on the ACT although that wouldn’t hurt the family budget. I’m not concerned about them getting an MVP award for their high school football team even though I wouldn’t mind having some season tickets to their college football games. And I’m not interested in them having their share of girlfriends while they are teenagers so they can give their heart away every other month.
While sports, academics and starting to like someone in a romantic way aren’t bad and often play a part in who our children become as adults, they are not and cannot be the end all when it comes to raising our children.
We shouldn’t be training and teaching our little PKs to be godly because we are pastor’s wives and are in the ministry. We should do it because we are Christ Followers first and foremost. I was a Christ Follower way before I was a pastor’s wife and a woman in ministry. And so were you.
I once heard a kid say to my oldest son, “You should know better, you’re the pastor’s son.” To which I replied as I took out my sword and nun chucks followed by a few roundhouse kicks: “No son, not because you are a pastor’s son, but because you are a Christ Follower.”
(Not really. I didn’t do the roundhouse kicks.)
My fellow pastor’s wives and women in ministry please don’t let the world, even the Christian world, place standards on how your children should act because they are “in a ministry family”. There is a really great book out there called the Bible that calls ALL of us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2) not just those of us in full-time ministry.
Let’s do our very best to take our responsibility seriously as parents and train our children to be, as my pastor, Craig Groeschel, says, “single-minded, Christ-centered, Biblically anchored, world changers.”
And maybe one day the term PK will be something that we wouldn’t mind being placed on our children.