We spend so much of our time in ministry encouraging and helping others build up their faith, but what happens when it is needed in our own lives? Bold faith in the face of overwhelming circumstances is easier said than done, and so much easier to inspire in others than it is to stir up within ourselves.
My husband and I had only been in ministry for a few years when our daughter, Riley, was born with a lot of medical complications. The doctors told us that she had a severe neuromuscular disease and that she would not make it to her first birthday, that ultimately my husband and I would have to decide when to stop fighting and take her off life support… We were devastated.
So I did what any rational person would do, I went shopping. Retail therapy! Right?! I went out and bought an adorable size 3T pink and mustard striped tank top. I didn’t tell anyone about it, just stuck in in the back of my daughter’s closet as a small sign to myself of faith in a big God.
Of course I had to face the facts in front of me, I could not dismiss what the doctors had told us. I did research, I tried to prepare our family for the tough road ahead, and I determined that every day of her life, no matter how long, she would feel like the most loved little girl that ever lived. But I also prepared myself for God to move. It was such a small thing, but that size-3 tank top helped me to dream about her future, that she would live to see a day when she was old enough to wear it. It also served as a reminder that my faith should rest not in the wisdom of men but in the power of God (1 Corinthians 2:5).
And that day, when against all odds, I had a beautiful three-year-old daughter in need of something cute to wear, I was overwhelmed by God’s goodness and faithfulness when I stumbled across the tank top I had completely forgotten about in the back of her closet.
All too often we over complicate concepts like faith. We feel like we have to have all the answers for other people and for ourselves, but all God is looking for is simple faith the size of a mustard colored tank top and He will move mountains in our lives!
By the way, Riley turns eight this month.