I remember the moment that I realized something was terribly missing in my life. I was sitting in my dining room early one morning. I had already taken my son to school, my husband was at the office and I had decided to come home and have one more cup of coffee before going in to the office myself. We were going through a really tough time. We had lots of staffing issues! It had dominated so much of our conversation that we were sick of talking about it. However, I remember sitting there looking at the phone wishing that I had someone besides my husband to call and talk to about it. I didn’t want to call my family because I hate presenting anything negative about the church or what we do to anyone. It is a really hard thing for people to understand. I realized I had no real friend that truly understood what it was like to do what we do. No one that has dealt with the same issues as we have, that understands the burdens, frustrations and yet the rewards. Someone that wasn’t pleased when we failed but someone that was really for me.
I had no other pastor’s wives friends. No other friends in ministry that I was not leading. No one to sit down, have a cup of coffee with and really help one another. I needed someone to connect with. Since then, I have been very intentional about finding those people that were missing in my life. It can be challenging to open yourself up to new relationships. Trust can be a risky thing. However, in the end if you find even just one amazing friend, it is worth it. I personally went with an open heart to the ARC ALL ACCESS conference one year. I made sure that I went to the ARC Women App session. I was placed at a table with other Pastor’s Wives and it was incredible how when we all got to talking we realized that we all were dealing with exactly the same things. It made us realize that we are not alone, that there are so many of us that have the same issues, same feelings, and same difficulties.
I made a few good friends that day and many more since then. But, truthfully, even if I had not made any friends, just being able to sit and talk to other pastor’s wives and women in ministry changed my life. I realized that was the missing thing in my life… taking the time to connect to other women in ministry.
So, I encourage you today to do what you can to take advantage of opportunities that come your way to connect with other women in ministry. It is scary at first and you won’t hit it off with everyone, but you will hit it off with someone. We were never called to to do life alone and you are not alone!